The Declaration of Superiority

When, in the course of discerning which flavor may rule over the others, it becomes necessary for humans to discard those preliminary ideas and prejudices such that a person may hold no bias when it comes time to taste. We hold these truths to be self evident: that all flavors, regardless of color or taste are created equal; they are endowed by the great manufacturer Gatorade with certain absolute rights and properties such that their unique and delicious flavor may never be taken away. Whenever a company such as Kirkland signature stands in the way of such a great creation, it is the consumers’ God-given right to boycott such a product, and bring misery to all those responsible for such a travesty. Although such inferior brands have existed for prolonged stretches of time, when they begin to offer competition just for competition’s sake, with no hope of winning against such a mighty and powerful entity, it becomes time to take action and forever free the Brand from such oppression.

He has made copies of Gatorade flavors in the hope that they may sell more bottles in bulk quantities
He has made a scar upon the face of sports energy drinks by introducing evil unto the market in the form of “competitive brands”
He has designed the shape of the bottles, in all cases, after that shape which distinguishes Gatorade
He has created sports drink powder, only after seeing Gatorade create this product first, which has no comparison to the original in taste or quality
He has distributed liquids labeled sports drink which have neither inherent electrolytes nor adequate sodium levels
He has unsuccessfully attempted to create mutant brands which strive to satisfy the requirements of carbonation, energy, flavor, and caffeine, and thus planted an evil seed in the minds of humanity

Throughout the development of their insignificant brands, Gatorade has not only warned those manufacturers of trying to compete on an international level but has staked their claim numerous times to the sport-drink brand.
We therefore the representatives of the Consumers of the World assembled, do in the name, and by the authority of the good people of this great world, present our intention to tear down the industry of all those attempting to compete with Gatorade; namely Kirkland Sport drink whose continuous attempts at success have made it difficult for Gatorade to develop any new flavors: and we declare the Gatorade brand to be free without restraint from any lesser sports drink companies from this day forth.
And for the support of this declaration, we mutually pledge to each other our commitment to true taste and our lifelong love of Gatorade.

S.D. 2nd period