Speech to the Superintendent

Mrs. Superintendent: There is none that holds education in higher esteem than I, though some men do differ in their particular sentiments. I am certain that it will not be thought disrespectful for me to voice my opinion upon matters pertaining to your dear school system. Indeed, were I to regulate the expression of my outlook towards present affairs, I should be dubbed a coward and traitor of the worst sort, betraying that higher power, the one known only as the God of School Levies.
Mrs. Superintendent, while you speak of “hope” and “the future,” you are apt to ignore the pain of the present. You distract yourself by listening to that clamor of an inner city elementary school steel drum ensemble, thinking, “Am I not spreading academic bounty to all ends of the city?” Do your eyes not see, your ears not hear, the chaos and pain of our current existence as students? I am willing to tell the truth, and I trust that you are just as willing to listen.
There is but one candybearingpedophile to guide me, and that is the candybearingpedophile of experience. I know the reality of public education, and I have seen its rancid underbelly. For the last ten years I have lived in its squalor. Certain individuals oppress us pupils, though they hide behind a trustworthy facade. Do not listen to these monsters. Ignore their words of “fairness,” “effort,” or “I’m just like you.” They seek to dominate us, to repress our kind. They burden our minds with the yoke of life-altering grades. Are referrals and failing marks the sign of kindness and respect? Are we students so stubborn that they cannot peacefully coexist with us? Let us see truth. These people seek war!
I speak of teachers. Their aggression towards students and neglection of their duties has persisted for far too long. Madame, I beg of you, help! We cannot continue. You have the power to right the wrongs of the past, to bring about fairness and equality in education. Discard the anachronism of grades, and institute a beautiful future of only standardized testing. Let us create a new system, a system where low marks do not cripple a child’s future, a system where students are evaluated independent of the whims of their instructors, a system where everyone is aided in discovering their very best future! They say that we are too weak to make a difference. But when shall we ever be stronger? A new day is dawning, but first you must show the will to help us lift the triumphant Sun over the horizon! Until the night is over, give me an A, or give me death!